Return to Your First Love

After being a marriage counselor for 25 years, I have had many couples ask, what is the key to a loving and fulfilling marriage? As a Christian, my heartfelt belief is that you will not experience the marriage God intended you to have unless you are completely and hopelessly in love with Him, first. Without an intimate relationship with Jesus, our human tendency is to love others from an emotional reservoir that needs to be replenished by the gratitude and validation of others.

Modern-day sociologist compare the romantic relationship between husband and wife like a measurable bucket or bank account. Depending on how much one or both of you deposit with acts of kindness, or how much you withdraw through needy demands or unresolved conflict,  will determine your overall “love tank/bank account”. The problem with this equation, this analogy, is that… life happens. Trying times of raising small children, severe illnesses, mental health concerns, can all take a drastic toll on a marriage, and other personal relationships. So then, what is the answer? Do these circumstances dictate your response and ability to give and receive love? They certainly do, if you do not have a strong and deeply anchored relationship with your First Love.

In 1 John 4:19, we learn that we only have the capacity to love others well because Jesus first loved us. Sounds good in theory. Looks great on a t-shirt. But do we live out these words to their fullest potential? Do we pursue others with a relentless love. Do we go to the Secret Place often, to be filled and revived with a supernatural love, that will never run out?When Jesus ministered to the woman at the well, He said He would give her Living Water, so that she would never thirst again. Have you been to this “Well” lately? I invite you to do so today. To drink deeply of a Heavenly love that heals the broken pieces, rejuvenates the dry places, and fills all the empty spaces where human efforts have fallen short. You are loved beyond measure. By a holy God, by a Savior, who laid down His life for His friends.

How will you show others this kind of Christ-like love today? When you stay intentional to nurture the relationship with your First Love, Jesus Christ, your love tank will always be full and your emotional bank will be overflowing to abundance, no matter your worldly circumstances.

Be blessed, Beloved.

-Dr. Jessica Stone